


Bones sinking like stones

by Isotope



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, M/M, Sexual Content, self-harm mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-26
Updated: 2012-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:49:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isotope/pseuds/Isotope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why was Niall different? Was it the bruises on his body? Was it the burns that Zayn could spot easily because he knew what they looked like? Was it because he was as broken and as battled as Zayn was? </p><p>Basically, where Zayn gets into a relationship with a person and leaves after they have sex. But why is it so hard with Niall?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bones sinking like stones

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah... I don't really know what any of this is... the idea just came to me and I decided to share it. 
> 
> I'm sorry if it's confusing! 
> 
> The lyrics are from a number of songs and artists, One Direction, Death Cab For Cutie and Coldplay. 
> 
> Has not been beta'd.

_1\. Don’t try to make me stay, or ask if I’m okay_

 

Zayn sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as he looked back at the body resting peacefully beside him. He closed his eyes and slowly started to pick up his clothes from the ground. He slid on his pants and a shirt before grabbing the rest of his clothes and carefully slipping out of the bedroom door.

He makes it to the door before he hesitantly looks back, feeling his heart drop as he does. This is who he is, he leaves a trail of broken hearts behind him as easily as Hansel and Gretel left a trail of breadcrumbs behind them.

He opens the door and walks out into the cool morning air, feet hitting the pavement. Every scratch represents a broken heart on Zayn’s ledger.

He wonders why people let him play with them. They all know who he is, they all know that he’s going to leave in the morning. Yet they let themselves believe that they can change him and lets them believe that he actually wants too. They’re both naïve and only Zayn is the strong one in the morning when he walks out that door. Or a coward, depends on which way you look at it.

He makes it into his own flat, throwing down the shoes and flipping the lock behind him. Louis stumbles out of his room, hair sticking in every which way and gives Zayn a small smile.

“Good party last night?” Zayn asks.

“No,” Louis said, “I’m making tea, would you like some?”

“That peppermint shit?” Louis nods. “…Alright I’ll have a cup.”

Then he goes and sits on the couch, burring his head in his hands and running his fingers through his wilted quiff as he waits for the kettle whistle.

“Rough night?”

“You could say that.”

“Did they wake up crying and begging you to stay?” Louis doesn’t even bother getting to know Zayn’s conquest anymore. It changes fair to quickly and rapidly for Louis to keep up with and he’s just as fine with giving them a small smile the one time Zayn brings them around here.

“No.”

“So they are still sleeping.”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to get a lamp thrown at your head tomorrow.” Louis chuckled but Zayn didn’t find it funny. Louis noticed this and said,

“What’s the matter?”

Zayn opens his mouth to say ‘Something’s different’ but instead he says, “Nothing. I’m just tired. Can I have that cup of tea now?”

Louis wordlessly hands him a cup and sits down beside him. They stare at the blank TV screen, both lost in their own thought.

Zayn gets up with his half cup of tea and walks out onto the balcony, taking out a cigarette and lightly it up. He leans over, cig in one hand and cup in the other, liquid sloshing around. He takes a long drag and looks at the sun rising, wondering what the boy he left is doing right now.

 

_2\. If Heaven and Hell decided that they both are satisfied_

 

Niall woke to the empty bed, not surprised that he’d left. He knew what he was getting into, he knew it was all a game with him. But for some stupid reason he fell for it. He let himself get roped in and he let Zayn take his heart. And just like Zayn said when they started up, that he’d crush Niall’s heart… he let him do it anyways.

He knew he was the only one to blame for this, that like everything, this was all his fault.

He got up and lit a match, he waited for a few seconds, waiting for the match to blacken before he blew it out and pressed it to his skin. He sighed as the hot air punctured him. This was his fault, he should bare the marks of it. He could never bring himself to cut, he knew that the razor would slip and he’d end up killing himself on the first try. But he was never afraid of fire and it provided a comforting feel to his already-easy-to-burn skin.

He dropped the match into the garbage before walking to the bathroom and putting some cold water to sooth the burn. He wrapped a band aid around it, it was on his stomach, no one could see it and it would heal within a few days anyways.

He grabbed his guitar and he started out on his journey.

~

Niall walked into the coffee shop with his guitar strung around his shoulder like always. He walked up to the empty counter and leaned over before knocking twice.

A curly haired boy appeared, giving him a grin and tossing his curls to one side.

“I’ll get your usual ready,” He said, “What are you going to play today?”

“I’m not sure… any request Haz?” Niall put on the fake smile but as Harry handed him the drink, he could see it falter.

“What’s wrong Nialler?”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah? You know you were always a shit liar right?” Harry said, eyes moving to behind him when he heard the door chime. They went wide and he quickly ran back inside the employee room, pushing out Cher who was grumbling that her break wasn’t over yet.

“You got your drink, Niall,” Cher laughed, “Now go play while I help this handsome beyond handsome boy.” She winked at the person behind Niall.

Niall turned and came face to face with a guilty looking Louis, “Alright, mate?” He asked awkwardly.

“You could say that,” Louis replied, eyes darting to where Harry retreated, “Is he hiding from me?”

“I suppose so, since when I came in he was talking to me.” Niall said, biting his lip. He honestly liked Louis and it wasn’t his fault that his roommate was Zayn. He decided when he woke the in morning that he wouldn’t let Zayn ruin everything with him, and that included his somewhat-friendship with Louis.

“Ah, well, if you see him again, tell him… tell him that we really need to talk.”

“Sure,” Niall said, “Staying for the show?”

“I’d love too.” He said and Niall gave him a smile.

Obviously, while he was away, something had happened within those two but Niall knew if he could make Louis laugh then Louis would make Niall laugh and then Zayn… Zayn would be out of his mind.

 

_3\. The memories of me will seem like bad dreams_

 

Why was Niall different? Was it the bruises on his body? Was it the burns that Zayn could spot easily because he knew what they looked like? Was it because he was as broken and as battled as Zayn was?

The balcony was his thinking place so ever morning at around 4, and watch the sunrise. After that, he’d watch the city how everyone went on his or her day without a care in the world.

He had class soon but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He just continued to stare and wonder why he felt so empty. He was a bad dream, every parent’s worst nightmare. He came in and ruined people and left them to fix themselves.

He’d told the seemingly happy and bubbly blond that he’d break him like a promise if he gave Zayn his heart. He told him that he’d leave him one day and not for a good enough reason. But Niall’s head just popped up and down to his Justin Bieber’s CD, thinking like the rest that he’d be the one to change Zayn. And just like the rest, he fell.

Zayn bit his lip and threw down the filter he didn’t realize he was holding before throwing down the cold shitty peppermint tea and heading inside.

He pulled on some new clothes, something that didn’t smell like Niall or remind him of Niall. When he grabbed his sketch book, a piece of paper fell out. He picked it up, it was the drawing he did of the one and only blond boy.

Zayn remembered that day like it was yesterday.

_Zayn had pushed Niall down on the bed, just hearing his constant giggles as he ran his mouth down the blond boy. He bit down in several places, leaving Niall gasping and moaning. He rolled his head so that he could look at Zayn, bright eyes burning into Zayn’s. There was a connection, right there and then and Zayn loved how pale Niall was in comparison to him. He looked so innocent below him but his eyes were telling Zayn all the wrong things that he wanted to do to him._

_Zayn scrambled off of him and Niall sat up and raised one eyebrow. He dug in his bag until he found his sketch book and pencils. He pushed Niall back down, straddling him and placing each pencil in the curves of Niall’s chest, watching them go up and down with his breathing. Niall just gave him a smile and watched his tan hand run wildly through the paper._

The edges were torn and the drawing was half smudged but you could still make out every line of Niall and the expression on his face. (Or maybe it was only Zayn because he knew what expression he had on his face). He placed the sheet of paper on his desk before putting the sketchbook in his bag and walking out the door.

~

“You can’t run from me forever!” Louis screamed after Harry as he tried to jog to his next class. Niall curiously watched them from the coffee shop window, forgetting that he had a guitar in his lap. He watched as Harry skillfully swung around the tree, turning him in the same direction as Louis. Louis ran faster and faster, trying to meet him but Harry suddenly turned a different way, confusing the hell out of both Louis and Niall.

Louis chasing after him and Niall waited until he couldn’t see either of them to turn his attention back to his audience.

He gave them a gratefully smile before continuing on with one of his own songs that he’d written. He started singing a little drabble he wrote a while ago.

_‘Your hand fits in mine, like it’s made just for me_  
 _But bear this in mind it was meant to be_  
 _And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on_  
 _Your cheeks_  
 _And it all makes sense to me…’_

He kept his down, letting it bounce off the floor. It was a slow song and it hit him right in the heart as he closed his eyes and let his voice waver of the series of notes and let his fingers take over, running up and down the neck of the guitar and the strings buzzing against his callused fingertips.

He’s sees his face, images flashing through his brain and he shakes his head, like he’s trying to get rid of a bad dream.

Because that’s what is it was, a bad dream.

 

_4\. Your love is going to drown_

 

Zayn walked into the bar later to meet up with Louis who was still brooding over whatever happened the night before. Liam was talking to him so Zayn got his drink first before he started his slow way towards him. He caught bits and pieces of the conversation.

“… He hates me.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for Harry to hate someone.”

“He said it was over.”

“That doesn’t mean he hates you.”

“You didn’t see the look his in his eyes, Li, they were like… fire.”

Zayn slid into the booth and pushed his drink across the table to Louis. He looked like he could use it more than Zayn did.

“What happened, love?” Zayn asked, using his gentle voice.

“Harry and I are over.” He said miserably, pushing the drink back. Zayn took it back wordlessly and then said,

“Why?”

“Because I slept with Eleanor.”

Zayn stayed quiet and looked down at his drink. He took a swing of the whiskey before motioning to the bartender for more.

“Then let’s drown our sorrows in alcohol.” He said glumly. Even Liam didn’t have the heart to protest, just sipping his coke and watching them get smashed.

Sometimes Liam felt like it was his fault that everything kept crumbling down, that he should be the one stopping them from doing all the terrible things that they do but he lets them anyways because he knows nothing and they won’t listen to him.

He claps his hand on Zayn’s shoulder and asks, “What’s got you down?”

Zayn looks at him, about to say something when something far more interesting catches his eye and he stares at it.

Harry and Niall have just come through the door. A girl flings herself at Niall and he laughs, taking her in his arms and grinding against her. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since he was with Niall. Maybe it was all a game to him too but this time Zayn got burned.

He watched Harry smile at the girl who was sliding her hands up Niall’s shirt while Zayn glared from afar, wanting to smash that girls head in because no one should touch Niall while he’s trying to figure out why he can’t forget him like he forgot his English project due last week.

Harry walked over to the bar and got two beers before looking around to see if there was an empty booth. Zayn waved at Harry, they were mates he guessed, they shared the same English class in university and Harry let him copy his work but Harry just gave him a nod before settling down in a booth furthest away from him.

When the waitress brought the whisky, Zayn snatched up one glass and got up from the booth. Louis squeaked in surprise as he watched Zayn go over to Harry.

“You shouldn’t sit alone…all types of creeps will try to pick up a cute boy like you.” He tried to say it with some vigor but he didn’t get much out as he slide across from Harry. Harry gave him a weak smile and said,

“Yeah? Like you?”

“Exactly,” he winked as he slid the whisky across the table, “Louis told me you broke up with him.”

“Did he?”

“He did.” Zayn said.

“And are you going to lecture me about it? Because I don’t think you can really say much.” He said, gesturing to where Niall was.

“I’m just here to tell you I don’t pick sides. What Louis did was wrong and he regrets it. He probably won’t ever look at another female again until you’re back on his lap… or vice versa.” He paused, “And I’d say you can talk to me but I’m not the best person to talk too, so if you ever want someone where you can just… chill with, call me.” He slid over his number into Harry’s limp fingers, which were sitting on the table as he got up and drank his whisky.

Niall did not miss that motion and walked over, “Trying to pick up my friends?” He sneered, obvious anger in his voice. Zayn just blinked at him and said,

“Just trying to be a good person.”

“Since when?”

“Since you.” He said, looking straight into those blue eyes which blink back at him, startled. Zayn grabbed his arm and pulled him close before closing the gap between their lips.

He didn’t wait for Niall to pry open his lips, he knew from spending months with this boy that he liked to be manhandled so he just forced his way in, pressing himself against the other boy.

Niall’s hands slid up and down Zayn’s back as he fell back into their kissing rhythm. It wasn’t hard since they hadn’t done anything since this morning.

Zayn felt the burst of light within him and he wanted to take Niall home and ravish him over and over again until there was nothing left of either of them.

But Niall pulled away after a few seconds, “I… I can’t.” He said breaking away from Zayn and running out the door.

Zayn stood there for a few minutes before Harry came up and pushed him, “Go on then. Go after him.”

And then he ran like hell.

 

_5\. I’m falling down, down, down…_

 

Niall ran through the crowded streets with tears pouring down his cheeks. He knew he must’ve looked like a mess at the moment but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He ran up the steps of his apartment building and unlocked the big door before rushing to the elevator. He pressed the button over and over again, while the salty tears came pouring down.

When the doors finally opened, he pressed his floor number and slide down against the wall, burring his head in his knees and sobbing.

He couldn’t do this again; he was stronger than this he couldn’t fall down back into Zayn’s trap again. Zayn told him that he’d break him and he did and he was still broken he was still on the mend and he didn’t need him to break him all over again the morning.

Hadn’t he had enough of his sick little game?

~

Zayn ran up the stairs to Niall’s apartment building. He found the door unlocked, it hadn’t been closed properly and no one had noticed. He slipped through before pressing for the elevator.

He tapped his foot, waiting impatiently for it to arrive and when it did, he jumped in, clicking the button 12 at least fifty times even though it wouldn’t make it move faster.

Again, he resumed his tapping until the slowest elevator in the world dinged 12 and he rushed out, nearly knocking over a person waiting for it.

He ran down the hallway and knocking furiously at the door.

“GO AWAY HARRY!” He heard Niall scream.

“Not Harry.” Zayn said back.

“GO AWAY ZAYN!” His voice was laced with malice and anger and honestly, the Bradford boy couldn’t blame him. So instead he took out a pin from his shirt and picked the lock.

He opened the door to have an amazed but anger Niall in front of him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He screamed, “Breaking into my house like that—” He was holding a match to his skin and Zayn could see the red.

Zayn rushed forward and crashed their lips together. Niall fought him but he kept their lips attached and pressed Niall into him. He could feel Niall’s tears on his cheeks and it made him want to weep. He let go of Niall’s bottom lip and buried his head in his shoulder as Niall did the same thing. They stood there and held each other while Niall’s sobs burst through the whole room, making Zayn shiver.

Parts of Niall wanted to beat Zayn away, pushing him out of his house and lock the door and never look back. But a bigger, more dominant part of Niall wanted to keep clutching onto him, keep him with him forever. He gripped onto the Bradford boy while Zayn murmured soft words into his ear,

“I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry.” They crumbled down on the ground, Niall’s crying had died down and now he was just hiccupping. Zayn brushed away the tears and kissed Niall’s forehead.

“If I knew it would hurt so much I’d have never of left you in the morning.” Zayn said as he rocked back against the sofa and Niall climbed onto his lap, cupping his face.

“You’re a bastard. A self-riotous prick who broke me from the beginning and now… and now I’m stuck here with you.” He said, “You don’t deserve me.”

Zayn closed his eyes, he knew it was true. He didn’t deserve someone like Niall, someone who was pure and beautiful and stunning like him. He waited for Niall to get off of his lap and throw him out the door.

“But you get me anyways,” he said and Zayn opened his eyes. Niall was looking at him fondly, “For some stupid, messed up reason you get me.”

 

_6\. It makes your lips so kissable and your kiss invincible_

 

Zayn leaned forward and met Niall’s lips with his own. It was a slow, soft kiss but it turned into something hungrier.

Niall started grinding his hips against Zayn’s, biting at his lower lip. Zayn ran his hands under Niall’s shirt, throwing it off and into a corner. Zayn somehow managed to get them both standing before he cupped Niall’s butt and Niall jumped up, wrapping his legs around Zayn’s waist and his arms around his neck, still kissing Zayn.

Zayn carried them to his bedroom, it had felt like forever since he’d been there. He set Niall down carefully on the bed before removing his shirt and throwing it somewhere as he slid himself on top of Niall, lightly pressing their crotches together.

He started down the Irish boys neck, littering it with bits and kisses and little kitten licks. He played with Niall’s hard nipples as he ran his hand through all the patterns of Niall. When he spotted another burn, he placed his mouth on it, looking up at Niall through those eyelashes that Niall thought should be illegal as he sucks a love bit on top of it.

He ran his hands along Niall’s waist band before they dropped lower and under the fabric. The pale boy groaned with the sudden hand contact as Zayn ran his dainty fingers up and down Niall’s length. He slid off Niall’s boxers and threw them on the ground, pumping Niall to full hardness before he disposed off his own boxers.

He wrapped his mouth around Niall and slowly started moving up and down while pumping his own length. With his free hand, he traced patterns on Niall’s thighs, making him shake.

“Zayn—Zayn I need you.” He murmured as he tossed his head from one side to the other.

“Where’s the stuff?” Zayn asked as he took his mouth off of Niall, admiring how shiny Niall was now. He licked the top of the cock, getting all the pre-cum off. Niall’s left hand floundered over to the bed side table as he threw Zayn some lube but no condom.

“Just… just put it in me.” He begged, going all red. Zayn smiled, he loved how when Niall would blush it would go from the tip of his forehead all the way down to his toes.

He squirted out some lube onto his hands and spread it around his own length before he put some around his fingers. He spread Niall’s legs and he whined, waiting for Zayn.

He slowly inserted one finger, pumping at a slow pace but Niall was impatient as he met Zayn’s thrusts. Zayn added two more fingers, giving Niall’s a shock, eyes going wide as he stopped meeting Zayn’s thrusts. Three fingers were now in Niall and Zayn was wondering if he could take a forth. He slowly dislodged his fingers, getting an angry growl from Zayn before he held out four fingers and slammed them into Niall. Niall gasped and his eyes started to water but he slowly moved himself on his fingers.

“I’m ready Zayn… just…” he gasped out, “GET. IN. ME.”

Zayn chuckled, “So demanding…”

Niall growled, staring straight at Zayn and said, “Next time you’ll bottom and we’ll see how you like it.”

“Okay.” Zayn said, pressing a kiss to Niall’s tummy, “We’ll do that.”

Niall grinned at the thought that there would be a next time which distracted him from noticing that Zayn had lined up with his hole and was about to push in. He squeaked with surprise when he felt Zayn’s tip and then suddenly his whole length was in him.

He shifted uncomfortably, he’d been stretched enough but it was one thing to have fingers and another thing to have an actual cock in you. Zayn stayed still until Niall stopped squirming. When he did, he grabbed Niall’s legs and held them as he slowly took his cock out of Niall and then slammed back into him, picking up at a much faster pace than his finger or the night before.

Niall moaned as Zayn hit his prostate dead on and then Zayn did it again, earning a scream from that boy. Zayn groaned with pleasure, he liked having Niall around him, squeezing him for everything he was worth. After a bit, Niall started meeting his thrust, Zayn could see him get impatient and he was rubbing his cock. It was all swollen and it looked like what Niall was doing wasn’t enough so he dropped one leg and started help pumping Niall’s cock.

Niall arched his back, letting both hands go limp and throwing the backwards, “ZAYN!” He screamed, “OH GOD ZAYN!”

He smiled, he knew Niall was close, he could feel him tighten around him and it was so much pressure that Zayn could feel that familiar coil in his belly and the heat rush through him.

“Ni,” He gasped, “I’m going to cum.”

“Good,” Niall said, flattening his back only to arch it again as Zayn squeezed his cock, “Fill me up baby.” He let out the loudest scream before white came shooting from Niall’s cock, coating both of them. As it landed on Zayn, Zayn released into Niall, screaming his name at the top of his lungs.

After they had both come down from their high, Zayn pulled out of Niall and fell down on the bed beside him. He took his finger and wiped off where Niall’s cum had landed on him before bringing the finger to his mouth and sucking it as innocently as he could pass off.

“You wanker.” Niall muttered as he took his own finger and half cleaned himself. He brought it to Zayn’s mouth and he greedily accepted it.

“I won’t be wanking since I have you,” Zayn said, kissing Niall’s forehead. They had made a mess but both of them where too tired to clean it up. That was for the morning.

 

_7\. Yeah everybody here has somebody to lean on_

 

Niall woke in the morning to find himself wrapped around in Zayn’s arms. The Bradford boy was sleeping contently with a small smile on his face and the Irish boy couldn’t help but wonder what he was dreaming around. He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead as he slid out of the bed and into the bathroom.

He was all sticky and dirty from last night and he wanted to take a shower before cuddling with Zayn for the whole day. (He could just catch his lectures online or whatnot).

Zayn woke to no one in the bed with him and he got worried until he heard Niall’s shower on. He sighed and got out of the bed. He passed the mirror and he stared at himself, he looked like an absolute mess but there was a ridiculous smile on his face that he couldn’t get rid of.

He slipped into the bathroom, unnoticed by Niall who was singing some stupid Justin Bieber song. He slid behind the curtain and behind Niall before he wrapped his arms around him and pressed up against him. Niall jumped because of the sudden contact but smiled when he figured out it was Zayn.

“Another round?” Niall asked warily.

“No.” Zayn said sucking a love bit high up on Niall’s neck so that when he went to class everyone could see that he’s clearly marked.

He carefully spun Niall around, his hand resting on the burn on his hip and the burn on his wrist and said, “This has to stop.”

“I…”

“I’ll help you through it, love. From now on its just you and me.”

“Just you and me?”

Zayn looked at him with his big brown eyes as he kissed the burn on his wrist, “Just you and me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
